just start

I’m just a big chicken liver baby.  This blog terrifies me.  Feelings terrify me.  I haven’t written a blog post in quite awhile and I’m thinking I probably should.  But like, I’m scared.  Truth is, only Sara Po’oi reads this blog (I love you!) but like, what if a stranger reads it and knows I have feelings?  I get headaches and neck aches often all because of FEELINGS.  So I’ll just start writing them.  Like, writing about how I feel.  Word vomit, if you will.  Actually, literal vomit.  Putting my thoughts online literally makes me want to barf.

I attended RootsTech 2016 on  Friday and listened to Naomi and Josh Davis talk about how neat it would be if our grandparents had the social media platforms we have right now and we could read about their lives and see photos.  So…  for the sake of my grandchildren’s grandchildren, I will face my fears and write this blog.

On Pinterest there are all sorts of pins that give you these “rules” for writing a blog: have a solid topic that you always write about, set a consistent schedule, always include photos, don’t you dare write too much without a picture.  But I’ve been trying this new thing out in my life where I stop following made up rules.  Oh, I’m not supposed to stay in bed all day, why not?  Why isn’t this a thing?  I’ve found that my life goes much more smoothly if I give myself permission to stop following fake rules.  So much relief.  So that’s how this blog should work.  No rules, just me writing whatever the heck I want.

Fun fact:  I’m also scared of success.  It terrifies me.  Oh, I got accepted into the program of my dreams in college for my dream job?  Time for an emotional breakdown!  Run away from school!  Never be successful because you will be great!  I want to be good at this blog.  Secretly, but not so secret now, I daydream of being a famous blogger.  Making money from my posts and being paid to go on vacation sounds like a dream!  But that takes work and gumption and actual nice photos on my blog, right?

Okay, now I’m just rambling, hence the name of the blog.  I’ll try to be better, posterity.  I’ll try to remember that being scared but doing scary things anyway is a really great way to mature and grow up and gain some confidence.

Ah, scary feelings writing stuff.  Yuck.