Sometimes I get all gung-hoe about writing on this blog, and then I just don’t. Ha ha.
You know what I really love to do? Write out and figure out my finances. I get paid every two weeks and I have a Google Sheet on my Drive where I just write down the total to all my bills and figure out how on earth to pay them! Being an adult is… so lame sauce. My gosh, and you know what has ruined EVERYTHING?! That stupid credit card I got last December so all my money goes to paying off the stupid thing! Stupid.
Okay, so wait, do I love paying bills or hate it? I love being organized and knowing where my money goes but I really hate paying bills. I don’t mine the phone bill or the rent bill, but golly, that stupid credit card…
ANYWAY! I do just want to take this time to let you know that paying my tithing is THE greatest thing I can do. Because at the end of every two weeks, I always have just enough money. Holy cow, you would not believe it, it’s a miracle every time. I get paid on Thursdays and the first thing I do every pay day is go online and pay that tithing to the Church. That’s my most favorite thing to do, I really look forward to it every two weeks.
Okay, adulting rant/praise over.
Oh my goodness holy cow. This book consumed me and I really thought it was my life playing out in the words. It is so beautifully written and I found myself putting it down more than I really wanted to just so it would last longer. I just… wow. Ha ha.
And I don’t really want to write about what the book is about because it will just give too much away. I audibly gasped more than once because it is so unlike any book I’ve ever read that I never saw any of the plots twists coming. It’s not a mystery, but it’s sci-fi. The feel of the book reminded me of The Time Traveler’s Wife which is one of my favorite books.
Just know that if you ever come across the book or are looking for a good book, this should be the one. So so so good!
Here it is on amazon.
Photo is from my Instagram.
Here is a before, during, and after of my haircut! Well, it was mostly just a color. We kept the length and only cleaned up the hair on my neck. There is a bunch of blonde throughout it all and I just love it. I feel… pretty.
The last few months I’ve struggled with acne and my hair and just feeling pretty. I’ve been making a lot of changes lately and I finally feel good on the inside, and I want the outside to reflect that!
The changes I’ve been making on the inside have been confronting some emotions I’ve kept bottled up and taking other’s emotions upon myself. I’ve been writing more, meditating, attending the temple and strengthening my relationship with my Savior. And it feels so good! Not all days are perfect, but they have been better than that were in the past.
Yay for new hair!
I took Spanish in middle school, and really, the only Spanish that stayed in my head were words like, “quesadilla” or “taco.” A real crowd pleaser is always “me gusta comer” (I like to eat!) for sure.
Incidentally, when I lived in Ukraine and natives would speak to me in Russian and Ukrainian, I often ended up responding in Spanish, even though I really, truly don’t know Spanish. I guess that is just wait my brain automatically went to in stressful situations in languages I didn’t know!
Working in an emergency room, we often get patients and family of patients whom only speak Spanish. (Perhaps they know words like “hamburger” or “fries,” similar to my preferences.) This is how a normal encounter works for me and them:
Me: Hello, do you need to be seen?
Them: Uh, you speaka Spanish?
Me: No, I’m sorry. Do you have a picture ID?
Them: Uh, si…
Me: Uh, [mimes telephone] su numero?
Them: [tries to tell me phone number in English]
Me: Oh, yes, close enough! What are we seeing you for? [Points to head] uh, cabeza? o, [points to stomach]
Them: Uh, si, [points to stomach]
Me: Uh, si!
… (I finish checking them in and typing in their symptoms)
Me: Necesitamos su firma aqui, por favor.
Them: [look shocked] You speaka Spanish?!
Me: Oh, uh, no, lo siento…
The only thing I really know how to say in Spanish really well is, “We need your signature here, please.” Usually when I say this to the patients, suddenly they will start speaking a million words a minute telling me what’s wrong and I just put on my best confused face and say, “Lo siento,” with a shrug. Ha, it’s great.
I’m just a big chicken liver baby. This blog terrifies me. Feelings terrify me. I haven’t written a blog post in quite awhile and I’m thinking I probably should. But like, I’m scared. Truth is, only Sara Po’oi reads this blog (I love you!) but like, what if a stranger reads it and knows I have feelings? I get headaches and neck aches often all because of FEELINGS. So I’ll just start writing them. Like, writing about how I feel. Word vomit, if you will. Actually, literal vomit. Putting my thoughts online literally makes me want to barf.
I attended RootsTech 2016 on Friday and listened to Naomi and Josh Davis talk about how neat it would be if our grandparents had the social media platforms we have right now and we could read about their lives and see photos. So… for the sake of my grandchildren’s grandchildren, I will face my fears and write this blog.
On Pinterest there are all sorts of pins that give you these “rules” for writing a blog: have a solid topic that you always write about, set a consistent schedule, always include photos, don’t you dare write too much without a picture. But I’ve been trying this new thing out in my life where I stop following made up rules. Oh, I’m not supposed to stay in bed all day, why not? Why isn’t this a thing? I’ve found that my life goes much more smoothly if I give myself permission to stop following fake rules. So much relief. So that’s how this blog should work. No rules, just me writing whatever the heck I want.
Fun fact: I’m also scared of success. It terrifies me. Oh, I got accepted into the program of my dreams in college for my dream job? Time for an emotional breakdown! Run away from school! Never be successful because you will be great! I want to be good at this blog. Secretly, but not so secret now, I daydream of being a famous blogger. Making money from my posts and being paid to go on vacation sounds like a dream! But that takes work and gumption and actual nice photos on my blog, right?
Okay, now I’m just rambling, hence the name of the blog. I’ll try to be better, posterity. I’ll try to remember that being scared but doing scary things anyway is a really great way to mature and grow up and gain some confidence.
Ah, scary feelings writing stuff. Yuck.
I really need a new hobby, you guys. I really, really like to read but I’m suddenly feeling a need for something new. I really like to travel, but I’m broke. BROKE. What if I turn working out into a hobby? Hahahaha, just kidding, like I would do that.
Last fall I painted a desk. It was all very exciting. I had a nice big garage at my place in Logan so of course I decided to paint something! I got a desk at the DI for $8 and I paint was fun to pick out! See, look!
After: (Bad photo of after, without the cute knobs on the drawers. Or the drawers.)
But here’s the thing: I DO NOT NEED ANYMORE FURNITURE. Ugh.
My mother has recently taken up sewing, but I can’t do that because that’s my mom’s sewing machine and I cannot infringe on that space. (Did you catch the pun? Did ya, did ya??)
Anywho, I’ll be over here, thinking of new hobbies I can pick up. Or begin again. Where’s my uke? Or my journal? Or hello, my blog? Or organizing? Or shopping? Or working?
Okay, I’m done. Word vomit over.
The good ole FB, where I spend waste way too much time looking up friends and stalking old flames. I’ve actually been pretty good at NOT doing the latter lately, so I deserve a big old pat on the back for that! Seriously, what good does it do me to see that an old flame hasn’t changed his profile picture lately, because that’s all I can see in his locked up, private account.
A few summers ago, I was talking to a good friend of mine about the old flame, and he told me that I should do something about this long harbored crush. “Why don’t you ask him out? My girlfriend asked me out when I go home from my mission and I loved it!” (Incidentally this good friend and that very same girlfriend got married today!)
So, I did it. See, back then, I was still friends with this flame on the FB. I had unlimited access to his timeline and could see that he was single.
“Hey! So this is random, but can I take you out on a date? I would love to catch up!”
“Sure! Let me know when works for you!”
So I have him a few options of possible days to no response. A few days later I checked in to see what he was up to and I was UNFRIENDED. (Dun dun dun!)
So… We didn’t go out and obviously we haven’t messaged since.
His loss, indeed.